The Fourth of July
Done By Me
We will wake up early and enjoy the beautiful sunrise on our morning eight mile run. Which we will then follow with a nutritious breakfast of coffee and bagels. (Because coffee is a food group.) After which we will trim the tree in the front of the house. Trim the tree on the side of the house. Trim the tree at the back of the house. Pull weeds. Weed whack the whole yard. And mow. Eventually, we will stop and enjoy an nutritious lunch of salad greens, fruit and coffee. (Because coffee is a food group.) Then after Ellie and Katie enjoy their three hour naps, friends will begin to arrive to help us explode three 2-liters of diet soda by dropping exactly seven Mentos into each bottle. We will do this in the middle of the street. After each explosion we will take notes on the different effect the various tops produced. Because this is science. Finally the sun will go down and everyone will gather around the fire pit on our deck to eat Topsy-Turvy cake, a recipe made earlier in the day with Katie from Mary Poppins from A to Z: A Cookery Book with a Story. As the whole neighborhood quiets to enjoy the city's professional fireworks as they bloom brilliantly in the night sky Ellie will toddle off to tuck herself into bed because she is very tired, leaving Mommy to sit contentedly by the fire and enjoy the show.
The End
The Fourth of July
Done By Jon
Is everyone awake!?! Of course you are because our neighbors are already letting off fireworks! Whoo! Hoo! LET'S MAKE PANCAKES!! Ellie will help while Katie and Martha do all the exercises from Geronimo Stilton: Karate Mouse*! No, I will not join you while you do your required 1,000 sets of 3 push ups, 1,000 pull ups and 30,000 jumps over your jump ropes, I'm making PANCAKES! (And coffee?) Yes, coffee!! NOW LET'S EAT PANCAKES!
Then we'll trim the tree in the front of the house.
Then, fine, the tree on the side of the house.
I'll weed whack the side yard but then we're done.
Because we need to feed the children peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches for lunch!!! Do we have marshmallows!?! (No.) But they'd love marshmallows! (No.) OK, fine, Ellie go sleep for 45 minutes and Katie you, run around like crazy!! (Can I read a book instead, Daddy?) Yes you can!! (35 minutes pass.) Look! Friends! We'll play Ticket to Ride while the kids play tag through the house and eat the dirt in the sandbox! (Just Ellie.) SCIENCE!! Let's explode the soda bottles!! How many Mentos? Who cares! Drop them in! It's SCIENCE!! Crud. We're out of Mentos. And why did you only buy 3 bottles, Martha? We need more FOR SCIENCE!! Can someone go to the store while we explode some stuff with fire!?! (Someone goes to the store.) YAY! Ten more bottles of SCIENCE!! Let's explo-Wait. Why do you have a notebook, Martha?
I lit the fire pit on the deck! Who wants Topsy-Turvy cake? And cookies! AND ICE CREAM! Hey! Kids! You have to stay at least 2 feet away from the fire pit if you're going to wrap each other up in blankets and roll each other around the deck like a bunch of tacos! Safety first!
BOOOOOOMMMM!
Awesome! The neighbors are setting off mortars!
The End
Three hints as to which version actually happened:
*I couldn't do it. Geronimo Stilton totally kicked my butt.
Both versions sound like the "cat's meow" of 4th of July celebrations! This post is so hilarious. I especially love the mentos/soda science experiment photo and the mortars definition. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt WAS a fun day! And very very loud.
DeleteBAHAHAAHAAAAAA I love the version by Jon, but he is my brother so I'm sorted biased. Yay science!
ReplyDeleteBiased. Brain washed. It's a fine line. :)
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