Superheros? You're Doing It Wrong. Still.

Dark, rain soaked skies?
Check.

Pumpkin carved by a four year old sitting on the front steps?
Check.

Bowl of candy, including the coveted Recess Peanut Butter Cups, by the front door?
Uncheck.
Because, let's face it, it's 9:00 in the morning and I have no control over certain gastronomical encounters.

Creepy music playing on Pandora?
Check.
My Michael Bolton station is playing.
At full volume.
Can't get creepier than that.

It's Halloween!

Which means there's going to be a lot of cute little superheros running up and down the streets tonight. And, with all the debates floating around the Internets about what exactly is proper attire for a female superhero, I thought this would be a good time to throw my ramblings out there. Plus, Jon's tired of me yelling at the TV whenever we watch "Castle".

Because there are so many things wrong with this picture. So. Many. Things.

And, so, in order to set the world of female superhero attire to right, Katie and Ellie got all dressed in their costumes this morning. And they dressed properly, Kate Beckett. Properly.

On the left, Katie has chosen a costume with a fun twist on the traditional Supergirl colors of red, white and blue. And, on the right, Ellie is quite thrilled with the sparkly skirt on her Batgirl costume. Now, we can't all be the sparkles and fun, contrasting prints type of superheros, Kate Beckett. I get that. But it's not with your pants that I take issue.

Things I Yell At The TV In The Evenings While Folding Clothes And Watching Castle

1.  WHERE'S YOUR PONYTAIL?!?!

Seriously. Imagine, there you are, running down the bad guy on the streets of New York, and suddenly off the East River comes a whoooosh! And? Now you're blinded. By your hair. Because you couldn't be bothered to put a hair tie around your wrist in the morning. So, that second murder that pops up in the last half of the show? Totally on your head. Literally. Because that's where hair grows.

Katie? Ellie? Show her how it's done:

BOOM! And there it is. The practical ponytail.

2. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THOSE SHOES, ALREADY!?!

OK, fine Ms. Beckett, you're right, you can totally effectively use heels of that height as a hammer. However, as a person perpetually late for each and every orchestra concert during my college years causing me to run at full speed through Central Campus in concert attire, I can tell you, comfortable, practical shoes are a must. Because running barefoot through the snow is cold and not worth the potential frost bite.

What type of shoes do superheros wear Katie and Ellie?

That's right. Running shoes. 

3. OH MY GOODNESS! IF YOU HAD A CAPE YOU'D BE DEAD BY NOW!

Ok, fine, I made that last one up.

I mean, we've all seen "The Incredibles".

We know what having a cape means.

 But! They're so stylish! They flutter out when you run at supersonic speed!

Obviously, Katie and Ellie had to fix that too.

Capes. Thanks to the invention of Velcro, now the most expendable part of every superhero costume!

So, look out Superheros of the world in your inappropriate crime fighting outfits. My kids are comin'. And they mean business.

These are their crime fighting business faces.


We'll be working on those.

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