Because There's A Super Foot Bowl Tomorrow

I am not a Seahawks fan.

Because I think Skittles are gross.

Of course I don't really understand what role the rainbow colored candy plays on the average Seahawks footballer's game day, but, judging from the cake I saw in the bakery case of our local QFC while I was grocery shopping this week, and this picture of this guy:

it's a pretty important one.

Now, before you get all #TBT up in my face, I'll admit it. Yes, in high school, I used to eat Skittles. And, I'm fairly certain this one time in the orchestra room, I said something along the lines of, "I love Skittles! It's like eating happiness in all the colors of the rainbow!"  Let's just put it down to experimentation with an unhealthy lifestyle, OK?  I mean, let's face it, we all did stupid things in high school.

Anyway, I was thinking that, what with the Super Foot Bowl coming up (GoogleGoogleGoogle Huh, look at that!) tomorrow, if I'm not a Seahawks fan, maybe I'm a (GoogleGoogleGoogle Yes, again.) Patriots fan!

No, seriously, hear me out. I once went to Philadelphia and do you know what I saw there? A statue of Benjamin Franklin's head completely made out of keys!

HOUSE KEYS!

It was amazing! It was, literally, the most awesome statue in the history of statues! (Shut up, Michelangelo, no one was talking to you!) And, with Benjamin Franklin being considered one of the Founding Father's of our nation....

That's right.

You know where I'm going with this.

But then, I was on the Internet, and I read that House Key Franklin wasn't the original statue that was placed in front of that Philadelphia firehouse. There use to be one made out of pennies. And it could talk! A TALKING STATUE?!? DUDE! EVEN MICHELANGELO WOULD CONCEDE TO THAT AMAZINGNESS!

But Philadelphia broke it. 

So, now, I'll never be able to visit a talking statue.

That's right, Philadelphia, you just lost yourself one more Patriots fan. City of Brotherly Love? Pshaw! More like City Of No Talking Benjamin Franklin Statue So It's Not As Cool A City As It Use To Be. (That's right, you heard me Will Smith.)

I'd like to end my Super Foot Bowl post rant here. But I can't. Because, due to the indoctrination of our public school system, my kids are now rabid Seahawks fans.

As evidenced by their bedroom doors:

Which I didn't help decorate.

At all.

Obviously.

Which means, for the second time in two! years! (the agony of it all!), I will watch the Super Foot Bowl. With a book. And a pot of coffee. While wearing my "honest to goodness I bought it at a tailgate party outside of a real stadium" official football necklace. Because that's what supportive mother's have to do.

But I won't be wearing my football shirt.
You can thank Philadelphia for ruining that one Patriots.

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