Hahahahahahaha! Yeah...... Me too.
But, in my case, the Halloween unpreparedness? That's all on the children. Because since the age of two my kids have insisted on making their own costumes. Now, I'm sure you're sitting there, thinking, "*pish* Someone's a big ol' liar with fiery pants hangin' up there on that telephone wire." But, listen, it's true. See, I realize that, in society's eyes, good moms make their kid's Halloween costumes. They plan, they paint, they sew, or at the very least they go to a store and buy them a costume. In August. And I tried to do that! Once. When Katie was all small and such. But she was having NONE of it! She insisted she was going to wear her pink bandanna like a cape and be Super Senorita or nothing! And, well, parenting is all about raising independent autonomous people, right? So I let her. Because that's also what good moms do. (Who might also be a touch lazy.)
Note: I was going to include a pic of Katie in her Super Senorita costume in this post, but, my computer somehow deleted, like, all the pictures from 2009. Which is, like, really bad. I mean, if I had been responsible for those photos, I'd totally wouldn't have lost them. Related Note: This is why computers shouldn't have babies.
But! You?! You are ready to dress your sweet little one in a costume. One made with love, and time, and maybe a wee small dusting of societal pressure. So, this morning, while my children were out into the backyard with cardboard, a couple cans of spray paint and some yarn making their own costumes, I sat down with a cup of coffee and
Bad Costume #1:
The Mandrake
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| This may seem all cute, with that sign saying "screams not yet lethal, but may cause extended periods of unconsciousness". BUT! Dudes, you've read the books, right? What happens to them at the end of The Chamber of Secrets? Yeah. They kill them. Maybe we should examine the whole story line before dressing our babies in this costume. Hmmm? |
The Pinata
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| Do you really want to spend the whole night yelling, "Quit hitting your sister! There is no candy in the baby!" Because, you know at least one of your kids will try it. |
Bad Costume #3:
The Bun In The Oven
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| This costume really should be avoided if you already have children. Unless human overpopulation is a cause you care about. A lot. |
Spaghetti
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| Ok, yes, it's cute. But, unless that's real spaghetti, you know that costume is going to be hanging out in places you don't want it hanging out from for a loooong time. Because babies put everything in their mouths. And then swallow them. And they have digestive systems. That terminate in their diapers. I may have strung that explanation out a bit too much. |
The Thanksgiving Turkey
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| What do we do with Thanksgiving turkeys? Put them in the oven. What do we not want to do with babies? Exactly. |
Bad Costume #6:
The Candy Machine
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| Just who is giving candy to whom here? This costume is way too confusing. Skip it. |
Bad Costume #7:
Two Headed Baby
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| The emotional imprint alone people... |
The Cannibal
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| Your kid has a peanut allergy. We get it. But, and I say this as a friend, this is taking that protective parent thing just a little too far. |
You know what being a lazy parent who lets their kids plan and make their own costumes means?
It means, your kids are way too happily crafting to notice you eating each and every peanut butter cup from the Halloween candy bowl.
If you hide from them.
In the basement.
What's the worst kid Halloween costume you've found?
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