In my defense...
Listen, Random Mom at The Park, I wasn't trying to steal your untended cupcake. There was a crow. And it totally framed me! And, sure, I looked guilty standing there holding your cupcake without a bird in sight, but I'm serious. Blacky the Crow is like that. I've read Thornton Burgess, so I totally know.
In my defense...
Last Wednesday? On those hill repeats? I ran past that donut shop, like five times, before crashing through the doors, throwing all the money I had stashed in my running belt at the person behind the counter and demanding ALL THE DONUTS! Five. Times. People.
In my defense...
I meant to run the whole seven miles I had scheduled for this morning, but my large colon had other ideas. Or, maybe I should say the bean laden nachos I had for dinner two days ago, after making their slow slide through my large colon, had other ideas. Eh, either way, after that pit stop at the coffee shop, obviously I needed to walk the last .78 miles home. Otherwise, you know, my coffee would have sloshed all over that deliciously scrumptious almond croissant I was stuffing in my mouth.
In my defense...
Ellie has been particularly interested in how bodies work lately. Specifically, about how that bright blue frosted birthday party cupcake turned her tut-tut such a "really cool color, Mommy!" So, we pulled out some old diagrams, albeit for a much less stressful reason, and have been tracing the maze that is the large and small colons of our bodies. I'm hoping we move onto muscles soon. The show and tell component has to be a wee bit more, um... public friendly?
In my defense...
After school that one day, when I said that Katie was an annoying baby, I.... Well... OK, look. She kinda was. She never slept. She refused to play with other children until she was almost three. She talked really early and kept asking me all these questions. All the time. And, did I mention that no sleep thing? Because, as an introvert, I kinda need a brain reset time, and when babies give up taking naps at, like, 9 months old, there is no. mommy. brain. reset. time. And, down that road, as King Lear said, madness totally lies. Including babies, no matter what kind of cute mumbo jumbo they try to work on us with their adorable large heads and chubby arms that yawn and stretch and rub their eyes. They ain't falling asleep. They just want to see you try to put them down for a nap. Babies. They're completely full of it.
In my defense...
I thought Ellie was an annoying baby too. Because of the whole sleep thing. Which, she would do during the day, but at night? Nothin'. You try living on a collected four hours of sleep a night for six months straight. It's really hard. Dudes, the children may have seriously killed off over half my brain cells before they reached the age of three. Both of them.
In my defense...
Clive lent me Just A Geek by Wil Wheaton last week. And, while I'm only half way through it, what I'm getting from the book, is that Wil wants me to be more real in my blog posts. Meaning, I should quit taking prat falls at my kid's birthday party* and write about real stuff. Write about how I find babies annoying, or how I miss my aunt who passed away from liver disease a few weeks ago and, crud, now I'm all sad again, and there's probably, some other deep stuff that I need to dig up and share around like that. So, if next week, you read a melancholy post about a giraffe patterned wide tooth comb that was given to me when I was six, you can blame Wil Wheaton. I do.
*Although, that totally happened. For realsy.
I agree about the babies and the no sleeping thing. I'm convinced that the aforementioned lack of sleep causes a drain on the brain cells. At least that has been my experience. :-)
ReplyDeleteDang things shouldn't be so cute and diabolical at the same time.
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