Three of my Most Best Bestest Besties came to visit this last weekend!!! (Which I celebrated with a dance of glee and happiness. And, yes, my dance of glee and happiness includes one or two Gangnam style moves. I perform them badly.) The timing of their visit was awesome, because the voices in my head were getting louder, and more insistent to be fed, clothed and kept in a basic state of aliveness. (In hindsight, those voices may actually be my children.) Me and my Most Best Bestest Besties do this every year, and every year we're in a different city, mostly because some of them insist on moving, like, a lot. But this year it was my year! We were going to SEATTLE! So, I did what any normal Seattleite-ish* would do when their out of town Most Best Bestest Besties visit. (That was the last time I'm going to use that phrase. Promise. Spoiler Alert: I'm lying.) I took them to the Space Needle!
Which, when they saw it, they were all, "Wow! This is awesome!" and some other stuff. And I was all, "I know, right?! Elvis!" And they all gave me a strange look that I took to be a collective exhibit of overwhelming pop culture awe, because, you know: ELVIS! And began to point out the important sights from the top of the Needle. Like this one:
Me: (talking really fast and gesturing wildly, because that's what tour guides do) We passed the Space Needle restaurant where Elvis sang "I'm Falling in Love Tonight" on our way up, but since the elevator didn't stop we didn't see it. But! Down there, is the Science Center where Elvis and Sue-Lin were chased under the arches and through the fountains by security guards in the movie!
Most Best Bestest Besties: Um. What are you talking about, Martha?
Me: It Happened at the World's Fair.
Most Best Bestest Besties: ------
Most Best Bestest Besties: ------
Me: The Elvis Presley movie?
Most Best Bestest Besties: We've never seen an Elvis movie.
Me: (in my sad voice, that I normally use for describing empty coffee cups and dead puppies) Seriously? No Elvis movies? Like...ever?
And that's when I realized I had to throw out my original "Tour of Elvis in Seattle". And it's all my Most Best Bestest Besties fault. Because it had the potential to be the most awesome "Most Best Bestest Besties Personal Tour of Elvis in Seattle" EVER! (Which is probably even true because, most likely, it's the only personal tour of Elvis in Seattle in the history of, um... ever.)
Instead, I had to show them the car that drives around with a hay ball on it's roof:
And the dead wolf fish in Pike's Place:
And, obviously, no one gets over this kind of Elvis disappointment without a little liquid fortitude:
Then I took them to the prettiest toilets in Seattle:
And a book store, because the two stops seemed to flow together well:
And, then, over some delicious Turkish food, I may have convinced them that the Seattle Mariners baseball team was recently sold to Texas**. Which, in my defense, is totally plausible considering Seattle sold the SuperSonics basketball team to Tennessee once.
But, I made up for it by taking them to "See A Shoe Actually Worn By World's Tallest Man":
And to see the hula hooping guitar/harmonica playing guy on the street corner:
|The Dude has skillz. Serious skillz.|
And then, on the way back to the hotel, all by myself, to pick up my suitcase, I walked by this:
And the sight of the beautiful flowers callously shoved into a trash can at the Seattle Center almost made me cry....
But then I remembered that one scene from It Happened at the World's Fair!
You know, the one with Kurt Russell?
By the trash can?
Finally, someone's seen it!***
*Because, I don't actually live in Seattle, or, even on the same land form....
**But only for like five minutes. Because I couldn't keep from laughing. Or, maybe, now that I think about it, they may have just given me this one. You know, because of my huge Elvis tour guide disappointment? Because they're just plain awesome Most Best Bestest Besties like that. (Dude, that was like the most awkward Most Best Bestest Besties sentence ever.)
***Because someone out there has had to have seen this movie!