Showing posts with label Alcohol can not be legally mailed across state lines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcohol can not be legally mailed across state lines. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Through No Effort Of My Own I Have Acquired A 12 Cup Coffee Maker. This May Not Be Helping.

I can't do it, guys.  I seriously can. not. do. it.  I mean, sure, maybe before I loaded Ellie up in the car and drove a mile (ONE MILE, DUDES! THAT'S IT!) to the nearest Trader Joe's* I could have written the soul searching, hard hitting expose on lying parents and wrapping paper I had planned, but, now? There's no way.  All I can think about are two way streets made into one way streets because of parked cars but are really still two way streets, cutting off people driving in, what I thought, was a dedicated the bike lane, six way intersections regulated by stop signs where pedestrians have the right of way and there is always someone crossing one of the streets messing up any type of turning order I thought I figured out, Siri, or whoever it is who lives in my cars' GPS, spewing out directions like, "Turn right here" when I'm  not only in the middle of an intersection but also in the left hand lane, and, me, hands clamped to the wheel, eyes wide and darting from side to side, Ellie in the back seat yelling things like, "Mommy! Look! Look! Over there! I see an E! There's an E in my name! Mommy! Mommy! Why did the pumpkin cross the road? Because he's a roller bowler! Ha! Ha! Is that funny, Mommy? Is it?" while a small rivulet of mucus drips from my still stuffed up nose and I whimper, "I can't do it.  I can't.  I didn't play video games when I was a kid.  I don't have the reflexes to compete with you all."

So, instead, this week's blog post comes with a contest!  That I put together at the nearby park.  That I can walk to.

So, grab your seasonal mug of pumpkin flavoring, curl up with your coziest blanket, and see how many children's books you can identify from these 12 statues that are scattered around the perimeter of my neighborhood playground!

To enter, just list your guesses in the comments below! The person with the most correct answers will win bragging rights among children's librarians and elementary bookworms alike! A box of macaroni and cheese! And! A random pumpkin flavored product, because, Trader Joe's has found my seasonal kryptonite.


Pic 1
Or: The Easy One

Pic 2
Or: Good Dog!

Pic 3
Or: Stilts, Like High Heels, But More Practical

Pic 4
Or: Insert A Dr. Who Reference Here, But I Don't Watch Dr. Who So I Won't

Pic 5
Or: Choo! Choo!

Pic 6
Or: Toot! Toot! (And all the preschoolers giggled!)


Pic 7
Or: Tall House

Pic 8
Or: Reach For The Stars, Unless You're Really Hungry Then Just Reach For An Apple

Pic 9
Or: A Dear Doggie! Said Dora, Daughter Of Duke David

Pic 10
Or: Not Held Up By Helium

Pic 11
Or: Count Them! One! Two! Three! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Pic 12
Or: If I Had Wings No One Would Ask Me Could I  Fly
Now, you may be wondering if this is a really real type of contest, and, since I just used the term "really real" who can blame you, and if so you wouldn't be the first because I wrote a whole blog post about that once. You can find it here. 


*Because marketing works, stupid Fearless Flyer writers.