Do These Words Make My Post Look Lame?

I've been hopped up on Sudefed for the last week or so. I'm blaming the kids at Sunday School because obviously I didn't get it from the toddler and her lack of hand washing skills. I'm telling you all this for two reasons 1) I was in no fit state to post anything 2) I posted something. I'd delete my lame "toe food" joke, but, maybe if I leave it there you all will feel an overwhelming desire tell me how much lamer this post is:

I painted the gate we had a friend put up to block our front steps to our deck last week. We had the gate put in about 2 months ago or so but didn't have the guy paint it. So, last week I thought I'd take advantage of the dry sunny weather and paint it myself, plus the steps and a couple boards he replaced on the deck. Now, remember, these things have been NAKED for over 2 months, also the gate is the FIRST thing you see when coming in from the car, and Jon didn't notice AT ALL! The thing was brown/naked wood color when he left for work and when he walked up the steps and OPENED IT after work, it was green. This went on for three days. Yep. Three days of walking out the front door and opening the gate and three days of walking up the steps and closing the newly painted gate. THREE DAYS PEOPLE!

I mentioned once that my husband had a strange inability to remember what color shirt he puts on each morning. I also should mention that I typically hide freshly made chocolate chip cookies ON THE COUNTER, he can never remember how old he is (he spent his whole 27th year of life insisting he was 30), and he failed to notice his CAR was missing for two whole days*. Unobservant? Yeah, you could say so.

Of course, I'm not complaining about his lack of basic observation skills. They've been too good to me. They've netted me a load of chocolate chip cookies AND the added bonus of being able to mess with his head at will.


*Less, "Dude, Where's My Car?" and more "Semantics for Imperative Programs" (Yeah, I don't know what that is either....)

Tofu Muffin Anyone?

My name is Martha, and I'm a vegetarian. Maybe you already figured it out with the pea soup or the nutritional yeast or the tang bean dip or the tofu muffins.... But I thought it was time to come clean. Full disclosure and all that.*

"Aw, crud," you're thinking. "She's a vegetarian. Now she's gonna get all PETA on me and show up at my house on Halloween wearing that Ronald McDonald McCruelty mask and freak my kids out."

Nah. I won't. I just needed a little context for for my story.

So, now that you know...I have to tell you something Katie said today!

"Mama, I like toe food."

Toe food. Tofu. Get it! WOOooo...(wipe away tears of laughter)...toe food...


* When I was six I stole a plastic flower.