Wouldn't A Flyswatter Be Easier?

My kitchen has been infested. Stupid little teeny tiny baby flies swirling around my sink, my compost bucket, my pile of dirty dishes, my COFFEE-and everyone knows you don't touch Mommy's coffee!*

I think they came over with the tomatoes from the nice old couple across the way-you know the ones in the white house with the picket fence and the GORGEOUS tomatoes.** I spent a week watching the guy tottle around fixing their fence. You don't care, and I know you don't care BUT I thought it was so cute, especially if you imagine him with a bow tie. Of course he's probably an ex-SEAL or something (did they have SEALS in WWII?) and knows like 12 different ways to kill me-but really, a bow tie would look so cute on him!

However, I digress, and those tiny flies are cloning themselves by the second, so, excuse me, I have to find my chopsticks.


*Seriously. Try it sometime. I dare you. (she said in a deep menacing voice)
**Because obviously they weren't attracted by my pit of a kitchen. My motto is, if you can't tell if the floor has been mopped, then why even bother.