
And hurdled logs floating in neck deep water! And scrambled over Armageddon abandoned cars! And scaled a cargo net like a pirate! And ran up steep hills (OK, walked but they were really steep hills)! And finally, slithered through a mud bog under barbed wire!


Me: Dude! You're first real medal! Isn't it awesome!
Jon: What do you mean? I have medals.
Me: But not like, real medals for sweating and stuff. Those are just high school Academic Decathlon medals.
Jon: You're just jealous because you couldn't be in AcDec.
Me: What do you mean, couldn't???? Did you just call me stupid?
Jon: I mean the math. There was no way you could have done the math.
Me: searing him with an evil obtuse look (which is a geometry term so obviously my math skills are totally quantitative and not sub par)
Jon: What?! It's true!
Me: Your momma.*
And finally, at the end of the day when all the little warriors and their Dora backpacks

were nestled snug in their hotel beds, like a potato, I scrubbed and scrubbed but the dirt just kept coming.
* Is there an online tutorial for smack talk? Because we may need it.