After doing everything I knew how to do to fix the problem (read: picked my computer up and shook it like a Magic 8 Ball) I asked Jon to fix it. He did everything he knew how to do to fix the problem (read: sat on the couch for a long time and typed random looking strings of symbols like fu:/&apt>%fixinternet1$67%&(32)ff1+>
But, since I'm not one to be intimidated by sci-fi movie mongols (or their ability to wield a sharp pair of cable cutters, George) and because due to my lack of Internet availability I could no longer read other people's blogs, download books to read on my Kindle or watch old episodes of 21 Jumpstreet on Hulu, I simply wrote down my list on a scrappy piece of paper and went to the library. And, for awhile all was well because I found a DVD set of Emily of New Moon! "A story about friendship, family and finding your passion!" "A story by the author of Anne of Green Gables!" "The complete first season!" "Produced by Canada!"
And, in the first episode, Emily's mother dies, she then gets beaten by the school teacher for standing up for another kid, her father looses his job and they begin to sell off their belongings book by book, her father is secretly dying, then her father dies in front of her, their maid tries to steal what little money they have left, she's sent to live with her strict aunts and told to leave her beloved cat behind, she tries to smuggle the cat in the buggy but is found out and so her aunt throws the cat out in the middle of the woods to die. Oh, and she talks to dead people. Yeah, apparently George owns Canada too.
However, since I still had that little piece of paper with my list on it, I continued to watch more episodes of Emily of New Moon. Then, just when the show was starting to get more upbeat (read: her cat came back and, after her aunt tried to kill it three times, she got to keep the cat in the barn) George intervened again. And this time he broke my mother's leg. Yeah. Because apparently with George, The Force is just like that.
OK, sure... I don't actually have any, you know, real proof that George Lucas turned off my Internet, forced me to check a horrifically depressing DVD out from the library and broke my mother's leg, but, um, hello, this is the Internet, I'm pretty sure I don't need one.
Oh, and by the way George, a piece of paper and I have something for you:
- Extraordinary Stories Behind the Invention of Ordinary Things by Don L. Wulffson*
- Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard & Florence Atwater*
- Geronimo Stilton: Lost Treasures of the Emerald Eye*
- Heathcliff: Wanted by George Gately*
- Uncle Wiggly Stories by Howard R. Garis*
- Henry and Beezus by Beverly Cleary*
- Jigsaw Jones: The Case of the Best Pet Ever by James Preller*
- Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl*
- Dora the Explorer: Let's Explore! by Quinlan B. Lee*
- Geronimo Stilton: A Cheese-Colored Camper*
- Geronimo Stilton: Mighty Mount Kilimanjaro*
- Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's Magic by Betty MacDonald*
- Thea Stilton: Big Trouble in the Big Apple*
- Jigsaw Jones: The Case of the Detective in Disguise by James Preller*
- Geronimo Stilton: The Karate Mouse*
- Stories from the Peterkin Papers by Lucretia P. Hale*
- Geronimo Stilton: Singing Sensation*
Proving once again, you can't keep a scrappy band of rebels down. Especially once you've gone over to the Dark Side, George.
*Katie is absolutely loving the squirreling capacity of her upper bunk: