Me: Oh. Really? Wow. Um..... So how do you get to heaven?
Katie: First you have to cross the troll bridge, then go through Starfish Forest and then around Sailboat Cove. Stop at the post office and then you're there!
Katie: How did your dog Bobby die?
Me: He got out of the back yard and stupidly chased down a UPS truck.
Katie: Did you cry?
Me: Yes. It was sad.
Katie: Was he sad? Was that why he died?
Katie: What's a cemetery?
Me: It's a place where we bury people who have died.
Katie: Can we go there? We could have a picnic!
Katie: When do we die?
Me: Um..... Later?
Katie: Mommy! Are there dead bodies in there?
Me: Where?!?
Katie: In that concrete thing in the middle of the road. Do they put dead bodies in there?
Me: No. They don't put dead bodies in the road dividers.
Katie: Do they bury them under the road then?
Me: What!?! No! That wouldn't be respectful. We bury them in cemeteries, remember?
Katie: Oh, yeah..... Can we go there? We could have a picnic!
Is this how all Goth kids get their start? A few sips of Cannibalistic Jesus tea, designing a few Dora the Explorer inspired maps to heaven, a preoccupation with where we put dead bodies, sympathy for depressed pets? Because if it is, I think Katie might want to reconsider because she is going to have some serious problems with their dress code:
