Thursday, April 15, 2010

Top 5 Things That I've Found To Be Full Of The AWESOME This Last Week

1. The woman on the left mowing my lawn
Not only can she hike Mt. Rainier, she can make grass shorter! She has single-handily saved me from the judgemental pointings of the retired early morning jogging suited walkers as they power walk past my house. I thought about dedicating a whole post to her awesomeness where I not only re-wrote the lyrics to Bette Midler's "You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings" but performed it, choreographed it and then posted it on YouTube. But I couldn't figure out how to work the video app on our camera, so once again a brilliant idea shot down due to my lack of technological skill.*

2. A drain plug that can even make Ernie's ducky friend look cliche and dated.

3. Georgia lawmakers who I swear have already planted a microchip in my brain. Either that or my aluminum foil hat is on the fritz again.

"Are you worried that someone is going to implant a microchip in your brain against your will? If you live in Georgia, your worries will soon be over.

A state House committee approved a measure this week that makes it a misdemeanor to implant microchips, sensors, transmitters or any other manner of tracking devices into individuals against their will. The state Senate has already passed the bill." -National Public Radio-

4. The massive amounts of self-esteem packed into little three year old bodies
Who else but a three year old could put this outfit together and wear it with such pride! (Well, she will once she puts the fuzzy bear down...)**

And then just weeks later bust a move outside of Hollister at the mall.

5. The new lyrics to "You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings"

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're doing everything I am supposed to dooooo
I can walk through my yard and not loose a shoe,
'cause you mowed it and saved me from ridicule.

It won't go unnoticed in my neighborhood
Now all the retiree's can stop pointing and sneering,
I want you to know, I can hear your snide comments from my kitchen window, of course I can
My house could look crappier too, just so you know.

But now my hero, has come and mowed my lawn
she'll be back in a week or two,
I can walk through my yard and not loose a shoe,
'cause you mowed it and saved me from ridicule.

Now imagine that lyrical awesomeness paired with a ball change, a cross-body lead, then a dos-y-do, followed by five high kicks and ending in a free spin. (I'm still working on where to add the feather step.) All done by a hugely pregnant woman who has never taken a dance lesson in her life and more than likely just typed in random dance terms she found on wikipedia. Man, wish I could figure out that video camera thing....

What awesomeness have you found this week?

*No. Seriously. That's the only reason!
**No. Seriously. She picked it out all by herself! Come on, there's probably at least four other ways I could entertain myself besides dressing my child in embarrassing outfits, taking pictures of her and then posting them on the internet. (I've got this one photo of her on the toilet wearing teddy bear pants on her nose that's AWESOME! But, I'm saving it for her PhD dissertation.)

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