Two weeks, almost two paragraphs. That's it. That's all I've written in the last two weeks! Where does the time go? Does it fly laboriously and awkwardly out my tiny kitchen window, buoyed up by itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini wings? If so, I'm in need of Winnie the Pooh to come over and stop that time wasting hole up. Like he did for Rabbit. I just bought a huge jug of honey plus Katie could read to him all the boring* Pet/Ocean/Rainbow/Fun Day/Weather/Dance/Music/Sports/Party/ETC!!! Fairy books she keeps on insisting reading to me. Again. So, I have 20 minutes. Twenty minutes until I have to wake up a napping Ellie, convince her to use the toilet QUICKLY!!! so we can race to pick up Kathleen from school. Twenty minutes. Aaaaaaannnnd.....GO!
(insert your own witty segway here)
Dudes! They found the Kraken! Giant squids are swimming around our oceans! Undulating tentacles up to 20 feet long are able to reach out of the water and swipe 5-10 people off the decks of boats in one blow! Then they eat them!** Floating ocean cities don't look like such a good idea now, do they Jon?
(feel free to insert another witty segway here, or do an interpretive dance of a giant squid attacking a floating ocean city. You know, your choice***.)
*Don't tell her I told you that, the official word is that they are fascinating! and suspenseful! and hilarious! and I don't have the heart to break it to her that they are trite, repetitive and, let's face it, Daisy Meadows, not even written by a real person.
**Kraken don't do that. That was sensationalistic. And a gross misrepresentation. I'd apologize but Katie promised to read to me again after school and Jack Frost has stolen the enchanted conch shell and Amelie the Seal Fairy, with the help of Silky the seal and of course the human girls, Rachel and Kirsty, must race to find it! And, really, this is more exciting.
***Link videos below in the comments.