Friday, January 24, 2014

Apparently The Seahawks Are A Big Deal? Huh. I Wonder What Benjamin Franklin Thinks About That.

Progression of a Football Fan
Specifically, On Friday, January 17, 2014
Now With All! New! Time! Stamps!

Arrive at Katie's school. Wonder why the kids are all shouting about "peacocks". Because, from where I stand in the parent pick up amoeba mob, I saw, like, zero teachers dressed in peacock costumes running around the playground being chased by students who had racked up 100+ hours of independent reading time. Which was disappointing, because that would have been awesome.

Realize that they kids are actually chanting about the Seahawks after spotting a teacher dressed in a football costume wearing a 12th man cape. (Note to self: Ask the Internets why only 11 people are allowed to play football. Plus: What's the historical football symbolism behind the quantity "12"?

Pat myself on the back for remembering that the Seahawks is the name of our professional football team. That play in a stadium. With a ball. And helmets. On a field of green. 

Search the Internets on my phone to see when the "Big Game" that everyone seems excited about is going to be aired. 

Notice that the game is scheduled to be performed on Sunday, at the same time the Family Folk Dance is supposed to be at the local community center. Think, "Dude! No wonder Jon isn't excited about going to the dance! He probably just wants to watch the football game!" 

Consider not only letting Jon off the hook about the Family Folk Dance but also staying home with the girls, making popcorn, and watching the game. As a family! Because maybe we should support our team? Plus there'd be popcorn....

Smile, in sportsman like solidarity, at one of the other mom's in Katie's class. Go Hawks!

Eyes brighten as she tells me, a FELLOW FOOTBALL ENTHUSIAST, about how she got a 12 cent coffee just for wearing blue and green to Starbucks.

Look down at my pants and wonder if the random Crayola marker swirls Ellie "accidentally" got all over my jeans would count as wearing our teams colors.  

Discard idea as silly and, really, an insult to our helmeted warriors in blue and green. Come up with a better idea. 

Map all the Starbucks on my phone because, Dude! $0.12 COFFEE!!! And, obviously because THE SEAHAWKS ARE BEASTLY AWESOME!

Plan a run for tomorrow morning in which I deck myself out in neon green compression socks and blue running shirt, and, with my running belt full of change, stop at each and every single Starbucks within a five mile radius, like my own caffeinated version of a pub run. But way cooler because eventually I'd buy myself a scone. Because they look like little pastry footballs. Of sugary goodness. Start chanting SEA! HAWKS! SEA! HAWKS! Silently. In my own head. Hopefully.

Casually ask fellow mom and, obviously, rabid Seahawk fan, if the 12 cent coffee deal goes on all weekend. Which, yes, I could look up on my phone, but, obviously, the Seahawks fandom is all about TOGETHERNESS and TEAMWORK!

Incredulously, indignantly and with thoroughness I douse my newly ignited Seahawk fan spark with a carafe of home brewed coffee. Literally. By which I mean figuratively. Because, according to the strangely overly enthusiastic football fan I was standing next to at parent pick up, the 12 cent coffee is a one day deal.

And now, on Superbowl Sunday Saturday Fri- Sunday (probably), when the Seahawks charge onto that field of green, I will be there, raising my home brewed cup of coffee high, in symbolic paraphrase of Benjamin Franklin's famous proverb:

For want of a 12 cent cup of coffee the fan was lost, 
for want of a fan the team was lost;
and for want of a team the game was lost; 
being overtaken and slain by the enemy,
all for want of care about a 12 cent cup of coffee.
            -The Way to Wealth (1758)

And then I will drink my coffee. While staring down the Seahawks fandom through the whole nine innings.

And that's a promise.

Well, you know, unless I'm at the community center folk dancing my boots off. Because there's no way you could combine the awesomeness of folk-

Wait a minute.

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  1. just for the complete record as a niners fan, I can't like this post any one bit.

    1. Are the niners sponsoring nine cent cups of coffee? Because I could be a niners fan you know.....

  2. I like the 12th Man Line Dance - and $.12 coffee is awesome. Go Seahawks! :-)

    1. Anytime you can combine folk dancing and coffee it's GOT to make football more exciting!