Wednesday, January 13, 2016

And You Thought I Was Just Being Lazy. Duuude, That Hurts. Because...

I'm pretty much sure I'm a Disney Princess:


See, I heard some kids talking the other day at, I don't know, the bank, or an art museum or while I was nursing two sore buttocks at the ice skating rink, whatever, it's not important, what's important is that they said that there are, like, real live actual requirements to be considered a member of the Disney Princessdom.

Seriously! The PRINCESSDOM!

Now, the kids didn't actually list out the requirements, but, Dude, I've seen like five princess movies, I've got this.

So, grab a pencil and keep track of all the requirements you meet.

Because you might be a Disney Princess too.

1. Must own dinglehoppers.

People! I own dinglehoppers.

That sparkle. Like the treasure untold they are.

2. Have a fascination with the fiber arts.

I made this once! With needles! That were pointy!

And then I took a nap.

3. Own shoes, that you leave in inconvenient places.

I leave my shoes on the stairs all the time!

Sometimes Jon finds them. And brings them to me.

4. Must be good enough friends with the animals of the forest that they will do household chores. 

Totally! I mean, I have a squirrel friend! Who makes beds!

I believe in you, little guy! You can do it!*

*Princesses. We're notoriously overly optimistic.

5. Own a lot of books. Put them on bookshelves.

I know what you're thinking, but, no, owning the complete Twilight series does not count against your Princessdom application.

But only because Bella doesn't discover that Edward's a prince in disguise 'til chapter three!

So, which Disney Princess are you?

P.S. Now that you're a real Disney Princess, remember, take time for the little people. And their mom.

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