I've been busy these last few weeks or so. Katie started Montessori school, Ellie grew, Jon shared some snot disease with us all and I jumped through fire!
And hurdled logs floating in neck deep water! And scrambled over Armageddon abandoned cars! And scaled a cargo net like a pirate! And ran up steep hills (OK, walked but they were really steep hills)! And finally, slithered through a mud bog under barbed wire!
All for a medal and a banana.
As well as the chance to engage in smack talk with my husband that went something like this:
Me: Dude! You're first real medal! Isn't it awesome!
Jon: What do you mean? I have medals.
Me: But not like, real medals for sweating and stuff. Those are just high school Academic Decathlon medals.
Jon: You're just jealous because you couldn't be in AcDec.
Me: What do you mean, couldn't???? Did you just call me stupid?
Jon: I mean the math. There was no way you could have done the math.
Me: searing him with an evil obtuse look (which is a geometry term so obviously my math skills are totally quantitative and not sub par)
Jon: What?! It's true!
Me: Your momma.*
And finally, at the end of the day when all the little warriors and their Dora backpacks
were nestled snug in their hotel beds, like a potato, I scrubbed and scrubbed but the dirt just kept coming.
* Is there an online tutorial for smack talk? Because we may need it.
I love how "your momma" wins every smack talk event :) It's like Rock, Paper, Scissors, Your Momma. Love it.
ReplyDeleteYes, my smack talk skills are quite evident in the exchange between Jon and myself. The street smarts I picked up while he was geekily studying economics and symphonic elements is finally paying off! (And by street smarts, I mean hanging out with the home girls in my Girl Scout troop and the church youth group.)
ReplyDeleteso was this the screw-you-world-I'm-not-pregnant-anymore-a-thon? And if you need smack talk help, do remember I'm around middle school students all day.
ReplyDeleteNot in front of the children, Michael! But, yes. Yes it was. Every post-natal woman should get one!
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe you could just shot me a few one liners I can pull out of my hat when I need it. Remember, I'm dealing with a man who uses the term "Bees Knees" so they don't have to be overly elaborate. :)
I die laughing everytime I read these. Thanks for my dose of hilarity today. Yo mama.
ReplyDeletewell if you want to hit him with a math-smack-talk, a buddy of mine just sent me this one: You're momma is so mean she doesn't have any standard deviation.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment anonymous! However I think you may not fully grasp the concept of trash talk.
ReplyDelete