Wednesday, September 15, 2010

How I Turned Into A Potato

I've been busy these last few weeks or so. Katie started Montessori school, Ellie grew, Jon shared some snot disease with us all and I jumped through fire!

And hurdled logs floating in neck deep water! And scrambled over Armageddon abandoned cars! And scaled a cargo net like a pirate! And ran up steep hills (OK, walked but they were really steep hills)! And finally, slithered through a mud bog under barbed wire!

All for a medal and a banana.

As well as the chance to engage in smack talk with my husband that went something like this:

Me: Dude! You're first real medal! Isn't it awesome!
Jon: What do you mean? I have medals.
Me: But not like, real medals for sweating and stuff. Those are just high school Academic Decathlon medals.
Jon: You're just jealous because you couldn't be in AcDec.
Me: What do you mean, couldn't???? Did you just call me stupid?
Jon: I mean the math. There was no way you could have done the math.
Me: searing him with an evil obtuse look (which is a geometry term so obviously my math skills are totally quantitative and not sub par)
Jon: What?! It's true!
Me: Your momma.*

And finally, at the end of the day when all the little warriors and their Dora backpacks

were nestled snug in their hotel beds, like a potato, I scrubbed and scrubbed but the dirt just kept coming.

* Is there an online tutorial for smack talk? Because we may need it.


  1. I love how "your momma" wins every smack talk event :) It's like Rock, Paper, Scissors, Your Momma. Love it.

  2. Yes, my smack talk skills are quite evident in the exchange between Jon and myself. The street smarts I picked up while he was geekily studying economics and symphonic elements is finally paying off! (And by street smarts, I mean hanging out with the home girls in my Girl Scout troop and the church youth group.)

  3. so was this the screw-you-world-I'm-not-pregnant-anymore-a-thon? And if you need smack talk help, do remember I'm around middle school students all day.

  4. Not in front of the children, Michael! But, yes. Yes it was. Every post-natal woman should get one!

    And maybe you could just shot me a few one liners I can pull out of my hat when I need it. Remember, I'm dealing with a man who uses the term "Bees Knees" so they don't have to be overly elaborate. :)

  5. I die laughing everytime I read these. Thanks for my dose of hilarity today. Yo mama.

  6. well if you want to hit him with a math-smack-talk, a buddy of mine just sent me this one: You're momma is so mean she doesn't have any standard deviation.

  7. Thank you for the compliment anonymous! However I think you may not fully grasp the concept of trash talk.