Can you find the real tweet among the impostweets? the fake-o-tweets? the countertweets? the trick-or-tweets? (I'll stop now.)
-My favorite swear word is crapazoidal. I've either been married to a math geek for too long or am channeling Scooby Doo.
-The best thing about being pregnant? I can wear whatever I want and no one has the courage to tell me I look like a freak. (This is not as bad as it can get.)
-You know how if you eat a lot of beets your urine turns purple? What happens if I gorge myself on beets the week before I give birth?
-My three year old just asked me for the cribbage board.
-No. Like you don't understand. This mac and cheese was life changing!
*That is, if I actually used Twitter and didn't think it was another insidious plot for world domination by super Buck Rogers computers.