Thursday, December 9, 2010

All Of These Things Are Just Like The Other, None Of These Things Are Different

I may have been kinda, um... lax with my blogging lately. However, I've been very busy squeegeeing crap in other places. I know what you're thinking, "Does she seriously just scrape the words right out of her head without a moment's hesitation and plop them down right here on the Internet and expect us to read them? Because that's lazy!" And yes, yes it is. And yes, yes I do. Also, this may or may not be the reason my readership is down by 6.45 people*.

And on that flapdoodle of a note:

Things that may or may not be related to my enjoyment of Captain Underpants:

1. I recently joined a burpee challenge. One burpee on the first day, two burpees on the second, three on the third, and so forth until March.

2. I have eaten oatmeal and guzzled coffee every morning for breakfast for the last month.

3. Ellie has been jostling herself awake by ripping up the cheese wind every morning. I now call her Tooty McTooty. Because I'm creative like that.

4. I had this conversation with a women from a random plumbing company, who I'm guessing isn't going to be sticking around too much longer at her job:

Me: The plumber I had out yesterday thinks the main sewer line is backed up with, what he called, oatmeal.
Random Plumbing Company Woman: (in a horrified whisper) What do you think that is?!?!?
Me: Ummmm.... well.... probably........ toilet paper and poop. Ya think?

5. Our house had a flood of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS! Not a "one if a unicorn, two if a rabbit" flood. Our flood was more " Jesus's ability to walk on water would have come in really handy in our basement so he wouldn't get dysentery between his toes". Because dysentery is squishy. And brown. And doesn't always float.

* My imaginary friend, George, is on vacation.**
**OK. That sounded WAY less dorky in my head. No seriously. It did.


  1. 1) I clicked on the burpee link. You are scary to find that on youtube.
    2) I'm afraid of what is in your basement. Really. Brown squishy dysentery doesn't sound like anything remotely fun or holiday spiritish.
    3) I shall continue to shamelessly plug your blog on FB to increase your readership above your imaginary friend George.

    <3 Breezey

  2. 1) You can find ANYTHING on youtube-it's awesome!
    2) The piney fresh scent of the tree helps cover up the bleach vapors that continue to waft up from the basement
    3) Thank you. George gets lonely. He would like a friend named Gertrude.

  3. How did I miss this post?! Guess I'm part of that 6.45%. Guessing I'm the .45.

  4. I don't know HOW you missed such a craptastical post, flipflop! And by the way,you aren't the .45% That was George, my imaginary friend. He went to Fiji for a week. He told me he especially loved visiting the tomb of Chief Udre Udre and how the historical society placed 872 stones outside of it to represent the victims the chief personally consumed over his lifetime. Historical societies are awesome! (Again. This sounded WAY less dorky/weird scary cannibal trivia-ish in my head.)

  5. Hey I was wondering where the heck George went, I haven't talked to him since High School. Did you steel him from me? Or was that Fred?:) Merika

  6. Stealing imaginary friends?! Me!?! Nah. I just took him for a joy ride!