Wednesday, December 29, 2010

HEY! Somebody Forgot The Cottage Cheese!

This week I was trying to make an entertaining post for you all out of all the dairy products that are currently curdling in my refrigerator. I was kinda hoping for that, "Awwww... isn't this cute! It's perfect!" response. You know, like you give your three year old when you open up your Christmas present and you find a fish net. And you don't fish. Ever. You don't even know how.*

I know what you're thinking. "Dairy products? Really? You mean like, milk and cheddar cheese?" Yes, those, AND whipping cream, AND half and half, AND buttermilk, AND homemade paneer (thank you Jon), AND yogurt, AND butter, AND egg nog, AND Goldfish, AND ice cream, AND cream cheese. Seriously. It's like Jon decided to bring home every part of the cow I would eat! Let me explain. You see, I was going be all witty and talk in this really bad Swedish accent. But then I remembered that John Wayne already did that in The Long Voyage Home in 1940. At the last minute I realized everyone would be all, "Been there, done that Ole!" and there you would have it, a butter turkey of a post.

So, since I'm convinced that robots/computers are going to take over the world someday (you have seen those Roomba commercials, right?) and since you all obviously enjoy my insanity/prophetic ramblings or you wouldn't still be reading, I decided to let the robots do the writing for me. After all, it's a New World or a New Year. or some such random potato/poetato-ness.

What Google Voice thinks I said in the message I left Jon on his cell:

Hey Jon, I thought I was just calling to let you know that I forgot that or come drop down below. I was going to transfer money order that I forgot and then, I was pregnant. I should be told his wife. Bill is almost like do about it up so I can do it so I'll hang. Yeah that'salright. So I'll talk to you later. Okay bye.

Awww maaaannn! Do you think Bill's wife will believe me when I tell her the computers made the whole thing up?

*Goodwill is the BEST place to take kids shopping for Christmas presents! I'm totally going to make this a tradition! Oh, and, Merry Christmas Jon!


  1. 1. Ummmm...I don't think that goldfish are a dairy product but more power to you if they are.

    2. Did you REALLY get a fish net for Christmas from Katie? Cause that is really funny.....

    I'm not even sure what the heck that google voice is confused and I had to read it twice.

    :) Bree

  2. 1. Ok, technically Goldfish are a cracker, but there's real cheese in them! It says so on the bag!

    2. No, Katie got Jon a fishing net for Christmas! She saw it ,picked it up and proclaimed it perfect for him! It was only a dollar, so totally worth it! Goodwill is the best place to take kids shopping! She got me a reindeer pot, which her and Jon wrapped to look like an ice skating elephant! Again, awesome goodwill find!

  3. Oh! Good! If you can't figure out what the computer is trying to say, maybe Bill's wife can't either! :)