I'll Fight Like A Crazed Penguin 'Til The End

Jon: (in his "Peppy Disney Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Inspired Voice," which means he's either going to some weird zombie killing video game party or he's going to talk about computers) You need a new laptop, Martha.

Me: (in my "Awww.... Crapazoidal! Jon's Talking About Computers and NOT Killing Zombies Voice," which truthfully is just leeetle whiny) NnnooOOoooOOoooo!

The top 10 reasons I should never be taken computer shopping at Best Buy

1. We will have this conversation:

Jon: SWEET! 64 B flash memory storage, NVIDIA GeFOrce 320M graphics processor, Bluetooth 2.1, built in Face Time for video chatting-

Me: Wait! WHAT? Like Skype? No. I don't want weirdos watching me while I'm searching for dancing penguin videos on You Tube, thank you very much.

Jon: You know it doesn't really work like th-

Me: Dude. I've seen The Jetsons. Yeah it does.

2. I will search for and play this dancing penguin video on every computer I look at.

3. We will have this conversation:

Jon: What are you doing?

Me: (looking at my iPhone) Downloading that cool penguin video. Because it's AWESOME!

Jon: But why are you shaking your phone?

Me: Duh. (rolling my eyes) It makes the phone go faster. I do it all the time.

4. Katie, Ellie and I will dance like penguins while watching each penguin video. Every time. There is no limit on awesome.

5. We will have this conversation:

Jon: SWEET! 2.3 pounds, multi touch track pad, mini Display Port output port with support for- Are you seriously checking your email?

Me: (slowly lowering my phone back into my pocket) No. No, nope. No. Not at all. What ports does the computer call at? Because if it can get me to Greece, I'd totally pick that one!

6. I will ask every employee if "fins come standard or will I have to pay to have them retrofitted?"

Because, admit it, that would be "like, crazy man"!

7. We will have this conversation:

Jon: What do you think about this laptop?

Me: No. It insulted me.

Jon: The computer insulted you? Uh, how?

Me: I was trying to type up some stuff on my blog, you know, to see how the format looked, and this STUPID computer said I typed this:

It aparntly works i html it 's like ir thinks im stupid or somwthing. Wgats up with the no soellcheck junk? i think its doing thid on purpose! thwre is no way im hitting tgat nany virtual typewriter buttons wrong!

Jon: "...."

Me: I don't take that kind of cheek from any computer!

8. I will freak out the 13 year old boy next to me by trying to see exactly how many of those tiny laptops I can fit in my diaper bag. (Answer: 3)

9. I will play that penguin video, "Just ONE more time!"

10. We will have this conversation:

Jon: You don't really want a new computer, do you?

Me: (smiling, as Katie and I penguin dance all the way to the car)

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