Thursday, February 17, 2011

I'll Fight Like A Crazed Penguin 'Til The End

Jon: (in his "Peppy Disney Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Inspired Voice," which means he's either going to some weird zombie killing video game party or he's going to talk about computers) You need a new laptop, Martha.

Me: (in my "Awww.... Crapazoidal! Jon's Talking About Computers and NOT Killing Zombies Voice," which truthfully is just leeetle whiny) NnnooOOoooOOoooo!

The top 10 reasons I should never be taken computer shopping at Best Buy

1. We will have this conversation:
Jon: SWEET! 64 B flash memory storage, NVIDIA GeFOrce 320M graphics processor, Bluetooth 2.1, built in Face Time for video chatting-
Me: Wait! WHAT? Like Skype? No. I don't want weirdos watching me while I'm searching for dancing penguin videos on You Tube, thank you very much.
Jon: You know it doesn't really work like th-
Me: Dude. I've seen The Jetsons. Yeah it does.

2. I will search for and play this dancing penguin video on every computer I look at.

3. We will have this conversation:
Jon: What are you doing?
Me: (looking at my iPhone) Downloading that cool penguin video. Because it's AWESOME!
Jon: But why are you shaking your phone?
Me: Duh. (rolling my eyes) It makes the phone go faster. I do it all the time.

4. Katie, Ellie and I will dance like penguins while watching each penguin video. Every time. There is no limit on awesome.

5. We will have this conversation:
Jon: SWEET! 2.3 pounds, multi touch track pad, mini Display Port output port with support for- Are you seriously checking your email?
Me: (slowly lowering my phone back into my pocket) No. No, nope. No. Not at all. What ports does the computer call at? Because if it can get me to Greece, I'd totally pick that one!

6. I will ask every employee if "fins come standard or will I have to pay to have them retrofitted?"
Because, admit it, that would be "like, crazy man"!

7. We will have this conversation:
Jon: What do you think about this laptop?
Me: No. It insulted me.
Jon: The computer insulted you? Uh, how?
Me: I was trying to type up some stuff on my blog, you know, to see how the format looked, and this STUPID computer said I typed this:
It aparntly works i html it 's like ir thinks im stupid or somwthing. Wgats up with the no soellcheck junk? i think its doing thid on purpose! thwre is no way im hitting tgat nany virtual typewriter buttons wrong!
Jon: "...."
Me: I don't take that kind of cheek from any computer!

8. I will freak out the 13 year old boy next to me by trying to see exactly how many of those tiny laptops I can fit in my diaper bag. (Answer: 3)

9. I will play that penguin video, "Just ONE more time!"

10. We will have this conversation:
Jon: You don't really want a new computer, do you?
Me: (smiling, as Katie and I penguin dance all the way to the car)


  1. Hahahaha! I have two comments!
    1...the Penguin video is amazing! I am so glad you shared it with the world, I will definitely be trying to find it again soon!
    2....Shaking your phone DOES make it go faster! I do it all the time. Just like when I don't have a strong signal, I walk around aimlessly with my phone in the air looking for that perfect spot for perfect reception!
    Love your posts!

  2. The penguin video IS amazing! I love the fact that the little guy is playing giddily in the snow while all the other penguins are standing around all stick in the mud.

    As for my phone, Jon keeps slapping his hand on his forehead and insisting I stop because he says I'm going to be visiting him at work someday and I'll shake it to make it go faster and that would be soooo embarrassing for him!

  3. Next time I am browsing Ipads I am putting the penguin video on each

    I will then come back in 24 hours. If they aren't all sold by then, something is dreadfully wrong with the world.

  4. I know! Best Buy should probably give me a commission on all the laptops they sold that day because I saw a TON of interesting looks while I was dancing to the video. In fact, I bet they already mailed it! Thanks, Michael!

  5. Is it said that I am sitting here thinking..."with all of Jon's experience with computers..why the heck are you shopping at Best Buy for a laptop???"

    I wouldn't shop there for batteries.....

    But I do LOVE the penguin video and can picture that shopping trip perfectly.

  6. Yeah, Jon was under some wacked out crazy misconception that if he had me actualy touch the computers I'd be more interested in them. He tried showing me pictures and whatnot online but my eyes just glazed over and I would quickly find something else very necessary for me to be doing in another room (like cleaning baseboards or sorting colored paperclips). I think this was his last ditch effort. THWARTED!