1. I am not standing in the kitchen waiting for my second pot of coffee to brew eating heart shaped cereal while watching Katie roll Ellie up in the living room carpet.
2. I am not watching this show:
But I am calling this guy Starburns:
because, come on, they're like twins!
Twins I tell you!
3. I am not wearing Jon's pants (and constantly hitching them up, thank goodness) because Ellie flung her homemade banana-apple-wheat germ-tofu breakfast all over my last clean pair of jeans. (Hey. Don't give me that look. It was the best banana-apple-wheat germ-tofu baby food I've ever made. Ever. And, how many times do I have to tell you, I CAN SEE YOU THROUGH THE COMPUTER, because, apparently it's not just uber-cool new computers that come equipped with a spy cam/Skype. Yeah. Thanks Jetsons. You've totally ruined computer privacy for everyone.)
5. I am not looking for the perfect place in our house to hang this poster:
Now, whenever I hear someone say "That's awesome!" I'm totally picturing my TURKEY! poster in my head.
6. I am not currently listening to the musical stylings of Frankie Yankovic "America's Polka King" because I heard Katie humming along to "Flightless Bird" by Iron & Wine on my Twilight Pandora Station and thought, "Hmmmm... Maybe I should expand her musical exposure." We'll be rockin' some bagpipe music tomorrow!
*'Not' is the new 'am'.
**See what I did there? I made 'not' into an accessory for 'am'! You know, like a pair of totally TURKEY! watermelon socks.
6. I am not currently listening to the musical stylings of Frankie Yankovic "America's Polka King" because I heard Katie humming along to "Flightless Bird" by Iron & Wine on my Twilight Pandora Station and thought, "Hmmmm... Maybe I should expand her musical exposure." We'll be rockin' some bagpipe music tomorrow!
*'Not' is the new 'am'.
**See what I did there? I made 'not' into an accessory for 'am'! You know, like a pair of totally TURKEY! watermelon socks.
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