This week Jon has been going through one of his binges again. Not the after school special 21 Jumpstreet kind, but the, "This expired in... SERIOUSLY!?! 2005!" and the "Rusty knives give you lock jaw" and the "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! You can't serve week old spaghetti sauce" kind. Normally, I grimace, place the spaghetti sauce back in the refrigerator, and just eat it for lunch the next day. But this time, he's gone personal.
How you ask?
He threw out all of my training food. Gu. Gatorade powder. Cliff Bars. All of it! (sob) Gone! (uncontrollable sob) Goooonnnneeeee!!!
(bravely wiping tears) I know! What was he thinking, right? I mean the man has gone insane! Obviously, the computers have finally taken over his brain and not only convinced him that ingesting week old tomato sauce is exactly the same as mainlining nuclear waste but that my Espresso Love (which, is awesome because you have to say it in a creepy lounge lizard voice) is one step away from molding over, growing legs and murdering us in our sleep! Sure you had to use an ice pick to break up my Gatorade powder and I got the Cliff Bars from some triathlon back in 2003 and yes, the Gu had expired in 2005, but, come one! It was all still good!
Are you taking his side?
You know what this is going to force me to do now, don't you?
And, because Jon's never seen the movies, I'm pretty sure he didn't realize what he was getting himself into when he tossed my training food. Hmmmmm....maybe if I add a shot of coffee to my raw eggs they'll taste just like my Espresso Love Gu. Maybe.
OH! WHY DIDN'T I FIND THIS LAST NIGHT?!
Also, now you know what I do while Ellie refuses to eat her carrot, prune, tofu baby food breakfast.
Because sometimes, you need a little "Espresso Love"!