As the resident killjoy around our house (read: person who says things like, "Don't put green beans in your ears!" and "It's been four hours, GO TOILET!" or, "Quit throwing rocks at your sister! I don't care if she's biting you! Puncture wounds I can fix, but brains are beyond me!") I use this blog as a place to be kinda stupid. (OK, a lot stupid.) And I like it. But, it's March, Katie is coming up on her fifth birthday in a few weeks, and it feels weird. No, not weird as in clutching my pearls and crying "Oh dearies me...my baby is growing (sniffle) uuuUUUuuuppp!" into my pink fluffy kitten tea cup with matching lacy saucer. That's totally not me. I'm more of a polka dots and butterflies coffee cup swilling type of woman, you know, more piratey like. Arrggg, salty dog and all that.** The weirdness is more of a, "Wow. Last year when Katie turned four, that was totally crappy. I mean, really crappy. But this year? Completely different. Weird." feeling. And it's making me all maudlin and stuff. I mean, just there, the only thing my brain did was tell my fingers to type m-a-u-d-l-i-n. Did you picture a mandolin playing troubadour walking amongst the plum trees outside the castle walls? Yeah. Me either. See? Maudlin.
I wrote a little bit about it last year, you know, about the biopsy reports, cystic fibrosis reports, surgery, and a lack of pie to soothe my soul after months of riding that emotional roller coaster stupidly entitled "Your Child Is Sick! MAYBE SHE'LL DIE!". I stuck it all into one tiny post because I don't really do that whole sharing my feelings thing very well. (Although it probably does explain my new found appreciation of butt related humor. And, um, literature.) But, this year? There's nothing. No colon specialists, no children's hospital waiting rooms, no diagrams of large intestines to explain, no scared almost four year old to buckle into her car seat for yet another hour long drive to the doctor's office. Nothing. Just swim lessons. School and "take home" days at the coffee shop by the park. Visits to the library for more Jigsaw Jones books. Songs about the continents. Tents turned into rocket ships. The Farmer and the Dell shows staged while she wears "two tutus too". And piles and piles of books to read with Ellie on rainy days. My Katie. She's almost five.
* maud-lin: (adj) 2 : weakly and effusively sentimental
**OK, maybe really just the immature coffee cup and caffeine swilling bit.