Tuesday, February 26, 2013
This Is How We Do It In My 'Hood
Psstt.... Dudes...(looks suspiciously over shoulder, puts finger to lips) Shhhh... Come over here! I got something to tell you man!
Guess what I did last weekend!!
Yes it involves coffee.
Yes. And some sidewalk chalk.
OK, you're right, there was a TURKEY! hat too, but, geesh! There was more!
See, I totally engaged in a wee bit of civil disobedience! Oh, yeah, that's right, me. I flouted the law! Thumbed my nose at the man! Repudiated the regulations! Derided the dictates! (Throws fists in air. Triumphatically.) Affronted the assizes!! Wait. (Lowers fists.) Assizes? Hold on a sec. (Googlegooglegoogle) Whew! Yep. Still family friendly here!
First, a stupid back story:
See, a few months ago some guy walked down to the fountain area near the ferry dock of our town and pulled a few pieces of sidewalk chalk out of his pocket and wrote the same 23 Occupy Movement Grievances that were written in New York a year before. Then, the City came by and said, "Dude! You can't do that! You're vandalizing " And he was all, "Um, City, you know it's chalk right? And it's totally going to rain in like 15 minutes and wash it away...." And then the City said, "Well, yeah, but, it's vandalism, and, WHAT IF IT DOESN'T RAIN!?!" And then the guy gave them this look, like, seriously!?! it's totally going to rain, but then, didn't have time to say it because then the Fire Department showed up and washed the vandalitical chalk away.
End of stupid back story.
And, yes. All of that was true. Except everyone probably used the word 'Dude' at least 50% less than I did.
Then, last weekend? In the dark wee hours of early Saturday morning, when normal protesters are sleeping soundly in their snug little beds, I donned my most awesome of awesome TURKEY! hat and did THIS:
Oh yeah. That's my hand and it's totally chalking up my neighborhood! On the street! You know the one! It's the one that I don't own! The public one! And dudes, I didn't just chalk up the street in front of my house, oh no, that's not near protestatical enough for me. I totally chalked up 3.86K of the public streets. And then I and at least five of my closest friends ran around my neighborhood, following the pigmented arrows, to protest the chalk oppression that is happening in our town*! And then we drank gallons of hot coffee and ate homemade sticky Nutella caramel pecan rolls. Because protestaticalling stupid regulations uses up a lot of calories. Plus, apparently Mabel knows how to use PinINterest for more than sarcasm. Because she's awesome.
And, um, also, now that I think about it, since all the cops have to do is follow the chalk arrows directly to my house in order to arrest me maybe I should go put on my TURKEY! hat now. Because that'd be one awesome mugshot!
*Or to train for a race in March we all signed up for that promised us chocolate fondue and cozy hoodies afterwards. Potato/Patata.