Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Conversations. Face It. We All Have Them.

My kids. They're going to send me over the edge one day.

Ellie: (on monkey bars at playground) Mommy! Watch this!
Me: Weeeeee! Very Cool!
Ellie: (stopping. staring) Why did you make that face?
Me: (confused) What? You mean smiling?
Ellie: Yeah. Why?
Me: (re-evaluating every facial expression since Ellie's birth) I...I...guess
Ellie: (Runs off to the swings. Laughing.)


Katie: (on walk to school) Mom! This bush looks just like a dinosaur!
Me: (looking, unconvinced) Reeeeally??
Katie: Yeah! You have to squint hard.
Me: (squinting)
Katie: Squintier than that.
Me:

Katie: See it!?!
Me: Well, look at that! A dinosaur! Right there! (pull out phone) Want a picture? (click)
Katie: (laughs) Just kidding! It doesn't. I made that up. It's just a bush.
Me:  Ohhhhhhhh....

Ellie: (holding up a paper from school) T is for turkey, Mommy!
Me: (Putting on my vegetarian hat. It looks like kale and smells of self righteous nutrition.) Oh, Ellie... What's wrong with the poor turkey?
Ellie: (looking at paper) Oh, nothing. It's just killed and baked on a plate, Mommy.
Me:  THEN what's going to happen to the wittle turkey!?!
Ellie: (with a glint in her eye) Someone will eat it.
Me: (getting...) Is that a good thing?
Ellie: YEAH!
Me: (ser.i.ous) Why?
Ellie: Because. Then there will be less sound in the world.
Me: Less sound?
Ellie: Yeah. Turkeys are noisy birds.


Of course, I could bring it on myself too.

Jon: (walks into kitchen) How's your coffee?
Me: Deliciously caffeinated!
Jon: Um, where'd you get that mug?
Me: The dishwash- (shoulders dropping, in realization, or smartness, really its your choice) It's not clean, is it?
Jon: Nope.
Me: (sipping, thinking, but uncaffeinatedly) Hmmm.... No. It's still good.


But, then, I looked at Katie's "dinosaur bush" again:



And I thought, "Nope. Definitely not my fault."



P.S. I've been away for awhile. Because I'm lazy. Or because I became a Disney princess.

Either could be true.

5 comments:

  1. I believe in you, Disney princess.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I took a quiz once, it said I was Ursula. Which princess was that?

    ReplyDelete
  3. :-) now a vegetarian hat is needed to go with your Turkey hat. Will you be commissioning one? And I think just a wee bit of action with a hedge trimmer could really define that dinosaur bush. Good to have your back posting on your blog, Martha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, hedge trimming isn't one of the clubs offered at Katie's school. I looked.

      Delete
  4. :-) now a vegetarian hat is needed to go with your Turkey hat. Will you be commissioning one? And I think just a wee bit of action with a hedge trimmer could really define that dinosaur bush. Good to have your back posting on your blog, Martha.

    ReplyDelete