While walking behind Katie as she rides her tricycle through the park we shout out syllables:
(I'm helping her with reading skills people! She'll thank me one IOWA/WASL test day.)
Playing with Ellie and her teething toy while waiting in line for my coffee:
"Eat the duck! Eat the duck!" (pulling the toy out of Ellie's mouth) "We don't eat ducks!"
(Because vegetarian brain washing can never start too soon.)
As we pile into the car at church:
"Who wants to play a drinking game?"
(Water people. IT'S JUST WATER!!)
Messing with preschool minds:
Katie: Moms know everything!
Me: They do?
Me: Do I know everything?
(Wait a minute. Did I just use my child to insult myself? Naahhh...)
Unfairly categorizing Katie while on a walk through the neighborhood:
Me: Which would you choose, Katie?
Me: Because I'll buy you a donut. If you choose wisely.
Katie: That boy. (points to Jacob)
Me: Not this one? With the cool jacket? (points to Edward)
Katie: NO! That one! (points to Jacob again and stamps her foot)
Me: Really? Not... (indicates Edward with a Vanna White hand flourish)
Katie: NO! I like the boy with the green shirt!
Me: (walking away, sadly shaking my head)
Katie, donut-less but proud new member of Team Jacob!
While helping Katie remove her little bottom from the toilet at Target:
"Oh shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake!
Shake your booty! Shake your booty!"
While encouraging Katie to eat the raisin bagel at Fred Meyer:
"WOW! Look at the raisins on this guy!"
(Huh. Maybe this is why I get so much unsolicited parenting advice from the retirees at Fred Meyer.)
And by the way? I don't want to hear any flak, people! It's not like I'm throwing my children into the world's largest frying pan in an attempt to make them into tasty kid flavored pancakes or anything!
No matter what kind of photographic evidence there is!