Friday, November 1, 2013

WE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME I HAVE TO TALK IN ALL CAPS!!!

There is a quote by Anne Shirley going around the PinINterest universe that says, "I'm so glad to live in a world where there are Octobers". Maybe it's my incessant reading of every book, short story and poem LM Montgomery has ever written these past few weeks* that has me agreeing 756,368,646.02% with LM (after all our late nights through the years, obviously, we're on a first and middle initial basis) or maybe it's because there is nothing like spending the weekend nestled deep in the autumn hued woods of rural Ohio with three beautiful women that have graced my life with their friendship since I was an awkward gangly teenager. Just! Like! Anne! Shirley! (squee!!

OK. I'll stop now. But, really, mostly because when I tried to write an achingly beautiful tribute to my " Most Best Bestest Besties" by incorporating the imagery of an Ohioian fall it came out sounding like one of us had an incurable disease and only had three months to live.  Because, apparently, the imagery of fall is depressing. Who knew!?!

See, while growing up in the desert I viewed fall as an awakening, an oasis, a  promise of the blossoming of life! However, when you try to switch environmental habitat imagery you have to substitute out word pictures like "migratory birds, welcomed home by the cooling temperatures of the desert, flit in and out among the prickly pear fruit" for "leaves, cold and brown, crunching beneath our footsteps". And, you can totally tell where that would lead, right?  Exactly.  Straight to my kid's Halloween candy stash for just one more Recess Peanut Butter Cup hit. Because peanut butter and chocolate is like heroin, people.  Heroin.  And, remember, this is coming from a woman who has never taken illicit drugs in her life. Although... I did read all four books of Twilight....

Anyway, if I kept waxing poetic I'd never get to tell you all that:

I WENT TO OHIO AND WAS ALMOST KILLED BY A DEER HUNTER!!

But, probably only because I had the nerve to waltz around rural Ohio dressed in my vegetarian costume. You know the one. The one with the vintage 70s style dress, boots and yellow tights? Exactly. That one.
Or that:

WHEN YOU NEED TO BUY COOKING SPRAY TO COOK BREAKFAST PANCAKES AND THE KROGER IS ONLY A MILE AWAY YOU CAN TOTALLY CONVINCE ONE OF YOUR " MOST BEST BESTEST BESTIES" TO RUN THERE INSTEAD OF DRIVING BECAUSE THEN, ON THE WAY BACK, YOU GET TO PRETEND YOU ARE PASSING THE OLYMPIC TORCH BACK AND FORTH ALONG THE SHOULDERLESS HIGHWAY WHILE GETTING STRANGE LOOKS FROM THE LOCAL FARMERS AS THEY SWERVE AROUND YOU IN THEIR PICKUP TRUCKS!

And I'd never be able to work in how:

MY "MOST BEST BESTEST BESTIES" AND I WERE ALMOST ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!

Because, dude, what kind of farmer uses a silo that looks like this?
Exactly.
An alien farmer, that's who.
And, obviously the time:

WE ACCIDENTALLY TOOK A BABY INTO A BAR AND SOME GUY GAVE US HIGH FIVES! Because, really, how else are you going to bow out of that gracefully? Also? Bars in Ohio should be, like, way better marked at 5pm. Just sayin'.

Of course:

THE RATHER HEAVILY MOTH EATEN TAXIDERMIED TURKEY WE SAW IN THE NATURE CENTER AFTER OUR GORGEOUS AUTUMN COLOR HIKE WOULD HAVE FIT INTO MY ACHINGLY BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE SEAMLESSLY!

However, on reflection, he may have looked a bit silly without being juxtapized next to the alien silo.
But, then again, who doesn't?
And, I don't mean to be overly poetic or go off quoting LM Montgomery again by saying "True friends are always together in spirit." But with these women? I'm in it until the end with them.

And now we have the "MOST BEST BESTEST BESTIES" bracelets to prove it.




*Because it makes me feel romantic, and beautiful, and winsome and all those other words late 19th early 20th century writers like to use.  So, shut up about it.

PS Please ignore my rudeness. I'm just utilizing an obviously unpoetic literary phrase to push you away and pretend I don't have ushuy gushy mushy feelings.  See, I totally just did it again.

2 comments:

  1. Love. Nothing but love and giggles and laughs out loud. Only you could commemorate a weekend so perfectly.. <3

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    1. Reciprocated love.

      I am sooo glad we get to do this every year! You guys are the most awesome of awesome and I still say, it's totally possible we'd have all met at our kid's school and we'd totally be friends! Yes, even after you all saw me sit in poop on curriculum night. Don't ruin that fantasy for me. :)

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