Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There May Be A Reason I Find Candy Land Boring*

So, last night Katie and I are playing Candy Land. Totally my suggestion. She wanted to play the Curious George Discovery Beach Game- AGAIN. And, since I hadn't played Candy Land since, I don't know, 2nd grade, it seemed perfect.

Then I remembered. Candy Land is kinda boring, and a little stomach turning with all the mint** and gum drops and black licorice. So, on the second game out comes my iPhone, and I question myself: Is it wrong to play Candy Land with your two year old daughter and read stuff on your phone at the same time? Now, before you get all "Quality Time" on me, I WAS reading the NPR website (because it just plain looks better in case, you know, anyone randomly stops by my house and asks what I'm reading), and it was an article about the inhaleable chocolate, LeWhif. (Chocolate-Candy Land, see the connection?)

As I was sitting there in Lord Licorice's stinky anise trap, I began to think: What if this article came out before Valentine's Day? What if Jon had read it? What IF instead of the lovely, gorgeously yummy box of Fran's Chocolates Jon brought home he'd handed me a box of LeWhif?

(Audience participation part I: wiggle your hands in front of your screen to make that wavy fade out effect for daydreams)

I would have been all, "Seriously? Does it come with a side of glue too?"
And he would have been all, "Yeah, no glue... But there's no calories!"
And then I would have been all, "What are you saying?"
And then he would have been all defensive with, "Nothing! Really! Do you want sushi for dinner?"
And then I would have taken it to the next level, because obviously I hadn't already, and been, "Did you seriously just tell me I'm as fat as a sushi stool?!?!"

(Audience participation part II: wiggle your fingers again and promise to smack me in the head if I start saying, "For sure! Gag me with a spoon!" and other stuff like that.)

So, the question hangs from this post: How in the world did I lose Candy Land twice to a two year old?

*I wrote this post while eating a grapefruit, helping Katie get on the toilet, laying out her clothes and collecting library books so we can get Jon to the morning ferry on time.

**Raise your hand if mint makes you nauseous too. Yeah.... I thought I was the only one....

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