I totally ROCKED my age group at my triathlon this weekend! Blew everyone out of the water!! (Not literally, as the guy doing the breast stroke in board shorts passed me. Again.*) I smoked everyone by at least 11 minutes overall! Say it with me: MARTHA ROCKS! Louder: MARTHA ROCKS!! One more time: MARTHA ROCKS!!!
Now, the sad news. I was robbed. Wronged. Ejected from the winners circle. Ostracized because of my age. Why? (sniff, sniff) Because (wipe away a single brave tear) because someone wrote down on my entry form that I was born in 2009.** Sad day....
However, just because I can't legally race in the 0-14 female age group, I CAN post race party like one!
That's right! All the curly fries I can eat, a chocolate shake and some random bonus hash browns Arby's threw in!
Two minutes later I'm headed for the bathroom. Proving, I can still race with the pre-teens but I can't down the chemically processed potatoes and vaguely chocolate shakes like one anymore.
*Why is there one in EVERY tri I do??
**It was either me or Dr. Theopolis, and we all know who I'm blaming.